with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
