she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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