Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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