VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
