you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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