return my video game
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
