I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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