Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
