Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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