Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
