But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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