you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
