sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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