I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Say something about gay babies.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
