It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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