You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
