someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
