How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
