I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
