Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
