If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You can't motorboat a personality
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize