I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
