Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
