i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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