Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
