So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
