so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
