This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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