Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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