opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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