Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
