If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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