i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
