Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
