with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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