hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
