In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
