im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
