It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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