So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize