There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
