dude i'm inner monologue high
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
