Whod you bang
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
