Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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