I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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