I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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