I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
wow bdsm is so cute
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
