Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
