I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
