sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
