Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
