she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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