I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
