5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
