That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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