Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
