i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
