i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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