Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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